she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
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You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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