i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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