this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
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I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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