Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
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We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
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