Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
