This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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