i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
