theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
