Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
