Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
