Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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