You're earring is so big in my mouth
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
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If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
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I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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