i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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