As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
