This girl is more easily done than said...
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
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