i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Pants are for mortals
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
