Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
