tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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