I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
time to smoke my breakfast
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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