I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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