i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I have feelings that need drinking.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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