She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
We are all done wearing pants today
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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