Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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