jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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