dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Randomize
