i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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