i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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