I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
