no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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