FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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