Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
