no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Randomize
