was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
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