You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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