i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
they need to just BURY HIM!
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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