Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
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