I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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