You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
