you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
