are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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