We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
she smelled like a LAN party
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Just puked most of my soul out..
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
