Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Randomize
