so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
