Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Welp...herpes.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Randomize
