So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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