LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
