just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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