I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
