i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
