I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Drake has all the answers
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize