Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
