so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
