This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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