An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
