Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
