how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
