Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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