Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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