I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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