We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Ketchup is God's man juice
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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