Do you still have your period?
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
