And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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