when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
